Vamped by David Sosnowski
Martin Kowalski is an eighty-year-old man stuck in a twenty-year-old body. He works the graveyard shift. He has a poster of Bela Lugosi on his wall and a box of uneaten Count Chocula in his pantry. He drinks stem-cell-derived blood from cleverly packaged and marketed juice boxes. He is, in short, a vampire. But since his wildly successful scheme to turn as many mortals as possible into vampires — “vamp” them rather than kill them — resulted in a new immortal majority, Marty finds little of interest to fill his countless days.From the deeply imaginative mind of David Sosnowski — who gave us the critically acclaimed junkie-angel classic Rapture — bursts this neo-vampire novel studded with pint-size vampires known as “screamers” (children who were vamped and are none too happy about it); priest vampires who helped convert their flock into lifetime members of the Church; stripper vampires who lap-danced their way into customers’ veins; and one very small, very outspoken human girl.
When Marty decides to end his endless life of soul-crushing ennui — call it vampire affluenza — a three-foot blond obstacle is thrown in his path: Isuzu Trooper Cassidy, a refugee from a human hunting preserve. At first he thinks “midnight snack,” but before the sun comes up, Isuzu is the one snacking on his prized cereal collection as she charms him into staying undead long enough to raise her in a world rife with danger and almost entirely populated by vampires yearning for the taste of real human blood.
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This seems like an interesting take on vampires. So many books, so little time. I hope you get a chance to try this one.
Melanie @ Hot Listens & Books of My Heart
It does sound like a lot of fun!
i hope it has a happy ending! when you read it remember to do a review
I will!
So I think the humor in this one has sold me. I feel out of love with vampires a long time ago but I still enjoy reading about them from time to time. Hey, I just found it for $0.99 on Kindle!
Wait, now that I see the alternative cover, I know I already have this one somewhere at home. Thanks for bringing it back to my attention.
I used the cover that I have for this post but it looks like the alternative cover is probably more common.
I hadn't heard of this one but that's an interesting take on vampires.
It is!
Why is she 3 feet? The questions!
She has to be a kid right?
I've had a lot of bad reads with vampire humour so I'm always wary about going near them now!
I don't think that I have read any vampire books with a lot of humor but maybe I am just putting them out of my mind.
New to me! Hope you enjoy it. I'm not really a fan of vampire books with humor. I don't know but that has never worked for me.
It is kind of new to me but I do like things that are a bit different.
LOL buying all the books you buy. Yes, I need to work on that.
I need to spend a lot of time working on reading all that I have a aquired 🙂
I love that your daughter said this looked like something you would read! I don't read much vampire fiction but I do like the humor in this one.
She knows me so well!
I recently watched One Punch Man which is an anime which involves a guy who is so good at being a superhero he becomes bored with his power. This sounds the same – a vampire who has vamped so many people he is a bit bored of being undead. I don't know why these situations humor me so much, but they do 😛
This does sound like the kind of story that will make me laugh a bit.